Dear Ruby,

This isn't the first time I've received this type of question, but it is one of the more difficult to answer because every family is different. However, I will tell you what i would do to fix the problem if I were experiencing it. All parents have different ways of disciplining their children, but I don't feel that physical or any type of abuse is ever the answer. The two of you should really try to obey your fathers rules and requests because not doing so shows a major sign of disrespect. If your sister doesn't understand that, try sitting her down and talking to her privately about the situation. Maybe the two of you can come up with a plan to help out around the house more to get on your father's good side. You should also try to get any close family or friends to come over sometime and speak to you, your sister, and your father, both privately, and as a group. If the problem continues, then i would suggest contacting family and children services to talk to them about the situation. Losing one of your parents can be one of the hardest things you will ever go through. So can losing your spouse. The three of you need to make an attempt to be more understanding than ever at this point because of losing her, but i do not expect either of you to accept being beaten. If problems continue to persist after trying all i have mentioned, I'd say it's time for a change, and you should let your father make arrangements for you to live with other family. I express my dearest condolences for your loss. Stay strong and try to behave!

Your friend,

Dan