Advice to Ruby Cathy By Mia Sapienza

    Dear Ruby,

           I should probably start out by saying I'm deeply sorry for your loss. I could understand how hard this time would be on you and your family. You and your family are in my prayers, and I'm sure everything will start to get better soon, all you need is faith. I appreciate you coming to me for advice, and that i will try my best to help your family connect once again. Thank you for being brave enough to share your problems and ask for help, you are appreciated for that. 

           I'm happy to hear that you see, clearly, the serious problems occurring in your household with your sister and father. The way that your father has been handling situations with your sister is very wrong. He needs to understand that by using physical punishment will be harder on a child to respect him as a father figure. Even after your mother has just died, i can imagine how the whole ordeal is being emotionally put on you girls. Your mother respected you girls dearly, and raised you to face your problems and become stronger, and i know that because you came for help and advice. She only wants what is best for you and your sister. And if she hadn't of trusted Your father in being there for you girls, I'm sure you would be in another place right now. It seems to me that your father loves you both dearly, and only uses violent actions to try and get through to you. Your sister is only rebelling and disobeying because she is grieving over the death. She may feel that the only person she could only listen to was your mother. 

          And for your father, i feel that he is grieving also and looking for help in many ways. Its hard enough to have a spouse pass away, as well as be the role model you girls want him to be. But he needs to understand that he is responsible, and he should discuss problems with you and your sister, instead of any physical harm. You could help him by doing what he asks, but also sitting down with him and discussing things you would want to share and fix. Beating and physically harming anyone is not the way to punish somebody, you need to tell him that if he wants respect, you need it in return. Just by communicating and talking to him, you will see changes immediately. Like i said your father is trying very hard, and on top of a death and a job he is struggling to keep you girls safe, healthy, and protected. He also wants what is best for you girls, and there isn't a question as to why you girls will not succeed in life.  

            So Ruby, stay positive, you are doing a wonderful job by being there, and understanding how your family is taking this emotionally. Please talk to your sister and tell her that you love and care for her, and you don't want anything to happen to her. I hope my advice helped you, and i wish you the best of luck! Just remember, "The bond that links your true family is not one of blood, but of respect and joy in each other's life."

Good luck Ruby!

Mia S.