Monday, September 12, 2011
Ordeal by cheque by Melissa Gregor
In the year of 1903, Mr. And Mrs. Lawrence Exeter were expecting a child. Lawrence Exeter was so excited. He truly could not wait to have a child of his own! They had a son, who they named Lawrence Exeter Jr. They loved Lawrence Jr. to pieces. They bought him anything a little boy could have ever wanted. While growing up, Lawrence Jr. started developing a rebellious streak. So, when he was only 12 years old, they pulled him out of his prep school, and enrolled him into a military school. Not being able to see their son for long periods of time made Mr. and Mrs. Exeter feel guilty. It made them feel like failures as parents. To make up for it, they bough Lawrence Jr. a brand new, shiny red cadillac for his 18th birthday. Lawrence Jr's rebellious streak only got worse with age. Only a month after first getting the car, he ended up crashing it into another car while out riding with his "friends" after dark . Of course, spoiling their child again, they pay for all of the damages their son had caused. After the crashing of his expensive cadillac, Lawrence decided that it's time to grow up and start taking responsibility for his actions. Later that year, he wised up and started attending Stanford University. Mrs. Exeter decided that she needed a vacation to clear her head about her son leaving for college. Now that his wife and son were out of the house, it was time for Mr. Exeter to have his own fun. He had met a lady named Daisy Windsor. Daisy and Lawrence had started to see each other exclusively. While Mrs. Exeter was out of town, Mr. Exeter and Miss Windsor spent all of the time they could together. Little did Mr. Exeter know, Daisy was using him. She was using him for all of the fancy, expensive things he would buy her. One day, Lawrence wanted something more from Daisy. He bought two tickets to France for him and Daisy. Daisy, still using Mr. Exeter for his lavish gifts, accepted his offer. The next day, they were on their way to the France. While in France, Lawrence bought Daisy more and more gifts. About two weeks after they arrived in France, Daisy had started to develop actually feelings for Lawrence. She never saw it coming, but she had fallen in love with him. While still in France, Lawrence had went out early, and bought the most beautiful ring money could buy to propose to Daisy that night. He had promised her that he would leave his wife, because she was the one that he truly wanted. She began to cry, and said yes. He had bought her a dress and everything else she would need for the wedding. They had their honeymoon in Hawaii, and he sent his son a checkbook, stating that he could spend it however he wanted. Lawrence Jr. started off by buying little things for friends and special women. Then he realized how much money he actually had to spend now. Buying different women gifts soon got him into some trouble. He bought a gift for a woman in a relationship. But, the woman's boyfriend soon found out about the matter. His name was Tony Spagoni. Tony had taken Lawrence Jr. into an ally and started beating him up. Lawrence and Tony made a deal. If Lawrence would pay Tony money, they would both forget that the whole situation happened. Lawrence Jr, scared for his life, reluctantly agreed to this, and tried to put it behind him. But, it was not only a week later that Tony was back, asking for more money. Lawrence gave him the money, then Tony was on his way. Lawrence Jr. was more focused on marring his new lady friend, Flossie Wentworth. They two had gotten married, but soon grew tired of one another. About a year after getting married, the two got divorced, and it was on to the next one for Lawrence. Her name was Marie Wharton, and Lawrence had offered her $75,000 dollars to marry him. With all of that money, how could she refuse? She said yes, and the tow got married. Lawrence's life had seem to be going in the right direction. He had a wife, who he loved, all the money he could ever want, and everything he needed. But, what he didn't need was another unexpected visit from Tony Spagoni. Tony was, yet again, demanding money. Lawrence answered with "I have no more money for you. You won't be getting any of it out of me." Tony responded with, "You'll see what happens when you don't pay me the money I need." One night, Lawrence was walking home from a night out, when he felt as though someone was watching him. He looked all around, but he couldn't see anyone. So, he kept walking. The next thing he knew, he was pushed down, kicked, beaten, punched, spit on, and so much more. There were 5 men around him. One of them being Tony Spagoni. Tony held a gun up to Lawrence's head and said "I told you you'd see what happens to people who don't pay me money I need." And shot him in the head. When the news had come back to his father, his father felt more guilty than ever. Guilty that he wasn't there for his son like a real dad should have been. Guilty that he wasn't there to help his son in his time of need. Guilty, that he didn't get to speak to his son before he died. He decided to bury him in Hollywood. He spent a ton of money on the burial. Then realized that money is what got his son killed in the first place. From that day on, Mr. Lawrence Exeter Sr only spent his money on things that he needed.
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Melissa- I like your ending. It brought everything full circle. Also, I like your use of dialogue. It makes it seem more realistic. Next time, let's divide it into paragraphs. It will be easier to read and break up the plot. Keep up the good work!
ReplyDelete-Ms. Balas
I really like your creativity for your story.
ReplyDeleteWhen you mentioned what each character was going through was nicely set up.